How To Be a Guido/Guidette

I had never heard the term guido before, until I watched Jersey Shore. Little did I know it was slang that held a bad connotation of an Italian-American. MTV portrays guidos as unintelligent men who are proud of their gelled hair and muscular bodies. Guidettes are obsessed with their tans, their big hair, their large breasts, and their tough talk. They're known for drinking, tanning, and bed-hopping.

The more popular Jersey Shore becomes, the more our lives become infected. We see them on tabloids, in commercials, and even as Halloween costumes.

Now, this might all be fun and games for most people with a brain. However, some people actually admire the cast members and emulate their lifestyle.

In order to be a guido:

1. one must be of Italian descent. (Some of the cast members aren't even Italian!)
2. one must have a New Jersey accent (even though more than half the cast isn't from NJ).
3. males must gel their hair, maintain rippling abs, and wear tight graphic tees; females must tan excessively, maintain the largest pouf imaginable, and wear cleavage-bearing shirts and mini dresses. (As seen in picture above.)
4. one must consider GTL (gym, tan, laundry) to be a lifestyle, not an actvity.
5. one must fist pump like there's no tomorrow. (No matter how much of an idiot you look like.)

Follow these steps and you're well on your way to being one of society's well-rounded individuals.